monica’s bodega

okay okay..

bgo p mwla 2ng (im lost for words) klgyahn ko eh…

bkt nga bko nttuwa? eh ewan…

trip lng..
naeexcte 2loi aq bkas,,ASARAN NNMAN TOH!!!

ihahaanda ko na ang mga tawa ko..

YEAH! I JUST LOVE MAKING FUN OF OTHERS.. (eh ksi nkakatawa nman tlga!)

—u remind me of the girl that i once knew… —

>> we cry because our hearts couldnt hide the pain anymore. dont be scared to cry. cryif you want. that’s not a weakness. it heals the wound that laughter cant cure. [but i cant cry.. no more tears]

>>i dont expect ppl to understand me. moreover they question my decisions..i may be selfish at times. but wen it cums to love? dont doubt. i dnt play wid ppls heart, unless they deserve it.. [hmm... oh no no.. thats why im behave!! see?]

>> sum1 said to me.. "i love you" i sneezed, then i replied, sorry im allergic with lies!!!

>> we deny that were tired, we deny that were scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. and most importantly, we deny that we are in denial.. we only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe. & it works. we lie t ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth ryt in front of our faces..

>>sna he wont pursue her too soon.. coz i have a feeling..i wud be just the same agen… hay. but i have no right to say it. i shud support.. :I

>> never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have

>>is there something wrng.. with the way i speak.. do you even see me when i pass u on the street.. i close my eyes and let it be.. coz i just cant see.. why you love to hate me..

*** he
always said,
he hates to see me hurt.
he hates to see me cry.

so all of those times he hurt me,

was he closing his eyes???

fck.. was he? haaay… bye bye..***

GM NA YN… dna q ng ggm eh.. haha!!

goood nyt! *hope this lasts!*

sana mabalance ko. sana magawa ko lahat na dapat kong gawin. andto na yung ang tgal tgal kong inaantay.. sna dko mabalewala lng. i know i cant have evrything.. one must go..  haay. PLEASE HELP ME LORD.

hehe…

so delete the previous post.. let it go.. let all the bad feelings go, just keep the lesson and be motivated.. (sana)

ahm.. yes..

kaya ko to! fixin my life…

ganon?

wla lng. its time! i know this would be very very hard. nothing takes overnight! kaylangan tatagan ang loob. i need to grow up. i need to cater with everyone’s demands ad expectations when everthing i want for myself is live a SIMPLE life..

eh gnun.. tlga..

hynko.. ano bang mali sakin??? hndi ko maiayos.. dko masagot ng matino! oo may mali tlaga sakn eh. ano???????? shocks…

basta ang goal ko ngayon, COMPLETE MYSELF. shocks. ang hirap nun hah… where would i find the pieces? bhala na. i trust him. in his time, mangyayari ang dapt..

nako anu b tong pnagttype ko.. ang labo.. para kong isang kupal na nangangaral..

darn.. well blog ko nman to eh!

haha… basta basta keep motivated. i shud know what to sacrifice. i should know my priorities!!

in short, i should know evrything! damn. ang hirap!!!

ang dami dami dami dami ki tlgang gusto. bkt gnun? may pgkakataon na lht sila anjn sa hrapn mo… kaw nlng mgddeside kung ano dun.. tpos ang lagi kong pinipili, yung PLEASURE. its wrong i know..

someday, i will learn to set my priorities straight.. (tpos ngffriendstr lng ako ngayon? haha!)

mmm… ang dami daming ggwin. andito nnman ang hectic times ko. bkt plagi nalang ganun? plgeng sbay sabay? ang tanga tanga ko kasi. tama nman si petwa eh.

kaso bata pa ko. hndi naman pwdeng alam ko na agad yun. di nman ako perpekto. di nman masmang magkmali db? tama nman na matuto ka sa mali mo? nakakaasar naman. bkt gnun?

ehhehe…

puro bakit! ang kulet.. bahala na, it will come. evrything will settle. i trust it to him..

amen.

:’(

ayan, cguro ksma nrn ng pgod yun.. im fine, thanks to me? hehe.. thanks to faith..

cguro dpt nkong msany ng gnto.. n kyanin ko kht wlng ibng taong anjn or ttkbuhn pg dko n kaya… i shud be learning my lesson. yes i shud begin to deal with it myself.. coz othr ppl,, are still OTHER people.. *yes, disappointing indeed that trust is nowhere to plead*

uhm.. sana may mkpg basa.. kht 3 tao man lng..

this is the longest poem ive ever made.. and the only one i kept.. muntik png mwla.. but its time to publish and let go… totally.. goodbye.. =c  [ a consequence i have to deal..]

                AFTER SLOPE

Weve finally reached the plains again

Just came through an elevation the both of us felt to sustain

For a time our hearts wished forever to stay the same

Despite changes we know we could never tame

Once had an ode that you will always be most beloved

All awareness was to you directed

Every page of me laid in front of you

Deployed second thoughts, coz i know you are true

Yes, we too had a good lot of reasons to bleed

Yet, we finished of nothing but maturity and lessons our minds to feed

I knew you and we became good pals indeed

Something more poured out our emotions could plead

Nights accumulated, the bullet was fired

You held my hand, we ran up and never got tired

And then, as one we reached the mountain peak

Held tightly in your arms, i was free to be weak

As time ran by,

we ran out of aliby

Although we may seem to feel complete

But personally, we ourselves have not yet seem concrete.

As much as we wanted to stay in this cruise nothing could ever pay,

Unfinished business down the plains lay

Honestly, my thoughts are still in some chaos

I feel weird thinking that your or my heart would be beating to a new boss

I just cant help holding

To the similar ‘drama scene’  in our dreams had fling

I hope you could still recall that sharing

Coz it is a thing worth wishing

The future hold nothing impossible

But this rhyme doesnt seem to cease plausible

It has been a long time i knew

That this wouldnt last for me and you

Im not goin to lie that i was quite disappointed i would not grow old with you

But the best thing we hold onto is the friendship we could always start anew

For pals never part

Always within the heart

Though sometime accumulates a gap

It bridges easily from even a simple tap

They could not comprehend

To me you are one bestfriend

I still wish to be the firsts to know of your ailment

Coz a part of me to you has already bent

Could you stil recall

To those other girls i witnessed you fall

When we were not laughing and tripping

In a corner there was counseling

It is certain that we could not be how we used to

Because it affects where we’ve been through

I say to myself it is not an issue

Or maybe i just dont have yet the clue

No one will ever know

So i just keep on the go

Yes im happy its true

Because i regret nothing with you

I am writing this out of the blue

To ease my feelings about you

Im contented now although

Nothing is permanent i know

All good things come to an end

These thoughts to my mind must apprehend

I cant deny that i cry

My emotions i pry

Im selfish for wanting this feeling

All i want is the love to cling

Its true what i have just pledged

The love between us now is only alleged

I dont seek to see you fragment

I just want to feel im still worth the same allotment

Today i different i know

Consecutively in a row

We would be parting ways in a month or so

Hope you would forever be my bro.

its time to go.. none of those words seem to still be sensible ryt now i know..

a consequence of my actions i have to sanction..

goodbye.. (you are my sweetest downfall..  i loved you first i loved you first.. etc etc.. forgot the lyrics of the song..)

sabi ko nga nung valed, life is about sacrifices.. ouch. — kylngn  itigl. kht prng hndi nmn tumutigil…. =c

[nbura ung tntype ko.. tanga..]

unfair? oo.. as always.. as usual.. its never just.. never fair..

gnun nman tlga eh..

pero lm m.. nkkguilty tlga.. nkkbigat ng loob.. pag may ngagalit sayo.. bkt gnun ako? bang tanga! hndi nttkot gmwa ng ktrntduhn n pra bng wla nang buks p pra sa lht ng kgaguhng pwdng gwen..

pero pg nsa hrap na consequences.. DUWAG. GUILTY. MAGSISISI.. eh… ano b dpt? teach me.. hirap pnga kaya..

haha.. ang EMO ba?

ganun ako eh. (wow ako b to) oo ganun nga ako. IM NOT A GREAT PRETENDER. ni hindi ko nga maitago kht mapikon man lng aq sa isng tao eh.. hlta s pngt qng pgmmka.. pano b mgtago?

bhla n,, pwde nrn un at least totoo k db? *sigh* tama nga b?

roar.. hinahangaan ko lahat ng tao sa mundo.. wow.. sobrang wow… ksi.. ang galing.. kinakaya nila lahat ng nangyayare.. gano man kalupet.. nakatayo prin sila.. pwdeng trantado sila pero lumalaban prin kht prng wla nang ptutunguhan, prng wla nang sense, saysay at pgasa..

naks!

mukng gagi lng.. prng hndi aq.. aq.. aq.. aq.. alm lng ng lht manhid aq.. manhid.. manhid.. manhid..

pero.. proud ako.. na madami nang nagbago sken.. mula s lht b ng nangyre.. pro pg iniicp ko, ni wla onga yun sa kalingkingan ng mga taong sinubok tlga ng wlang awang buhay.. pero sa huli, they a lot more complete than others who just do their drama..

therapy.. theraphy.. ths s one way of therapy.. relieving a loaded mind… of thoughts.. thoughts.. thoughts..

the world will never understand.. NEVER TRY TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND.. bcoz its only YOU.. ALONE.. never try winning SYMPATHY of others.. coz they r always OTHERs.. OTHER than u are..

you… its only and always you.. but never forget him.. GOD.. natututo nakong maging tao.. kht papano..

kahit onte. pride pride..

anu bng meron sa pride?

hhehe….

nkkpgod dn mnsan noh? mkuhalubilo sa mga tao.. kylngan gnto gnto..

e gnyun tlga.. kaya siguro inimbento ang gabi.. tama, yun ang silbi ng gabi…

at sa umaga, paggising mo, pagbangon… handa ka na ulit… dasal k lang muna para gabayan kang gumawa ng tama at magisip ng tama…

haaaaaaaay…

what have i become? who was i a year ago? 5 years ago?  how about ten years ago? i miss it… fifteen years ago…? yes… so innocent..

hay buhay.. tuloy lang.. ang diyos plaging nandyan..

————-=’c————ayun—————=)——————